DON’T LET LIFE GIVE YOU A BLACK EYE!!!
“Open your eyes and see how things really are.” ~Unknown
You know I’m a dreamer, so I see things the way that I want them to be. I used to escape into books, or writing, or happy memories–when someone I loved the most was bruising my ego, my heart, and my being. And my confidence and my self-esteem dragged on the ground because of it. But the human spirit is a really incredible entity. It has flexibility beyond the imagination. And somehow, though crushed, it can usually stretch right back to almost its original shape. I will admit to be crushed–with mean-spirited words most days and even his fist on one occasion. “I ONLY hit you ONCE” still echoes in my mind. And I did nothing. I didn’t fight back. But with the encouragement of some persistent friends, who loved me enough to ask me to focus on myself, I came to the realization that what I considered “our” problem wasn’t. I didn’t have the power to do more than offer my support and possible solutions. And guess what, if you don’t think you have a problem, you don’t see the need for a solution.. “I’m not an alcoholic–After all, I get up every morning and go to work,” was the response I got when I suggested we might need some help.
Now, remember, I’m the dreamer, so when I’m not happy, I just take myself to a happy place, and just tune out the bad. Loving family members insisted that I focus on the present. I tried it. I didn’t like it, but I stayed focused on the present. Itforced me to see some pretty awful things in my life– I finally faced the fact that there were things that I could not change. Imagine that–pretty stark reality for a girl whose main goal in life on any given day is to make the world a better place. I found myself tearfully angry with those dear ones who kept pushing me to face reality. They felt standards that I had long forgotten. My life was bearable when I lived in my own little happy world, not facing the truth–and I wasn’t strong enough to leave (so I thought) and no one would help me (not true at all) and I was frightened. Well, it seems that everyone, but me knew that I deserved better treatment than I was getting, a safer life, and the opportunity to fly–to make some dreams come true that just couldn’t happen with the negative forces that surrounded me– held me back–narrowed my choices and my vision–distracted me from my focus.
So, I planned–offered to find a solution, offered to be there through it all, then demanded and was frightened by the response I received–and I retreated cautiously–backed off–and made some alternative plans–and took some steps to make a ”Safe Plan”. Seek help from the Domenstic Violence people. They know what they’re doing. They will help you to be safe. And I began to plan a new life. I asked questions. I searched for support after years of feeling frozen in fear and unable to help myself. I did research. I asked friends for advice. I let people in. I told my story and I listened. The advice is available. You would be astounded by it. Don’t be afraid. You are not alone. You will be amazed at the friends you will find willing to help you–friends you might never have met before and friends who let you know–to your surprise–that you are not alone. Look at the person sitting next to you in church–in line at the grocery store–the bank–at your child’s school. You might be surprised how many of us are in clear sight.
My new life is here. It’s now. I’m like a baby bird testing out my wings and I continue to be a work in progress. I worry that I may fall out of the nest, but I know that I can do it. Anyway, if you happen to find yourself near my nest, please stand by with a very large net–or at least look out below. My effort is to be just a little bit better today than I was yesterday, but not nearly what I can be tomorrow. And now I have that chance–it is a reality. Wait and see! How ’bout you? Hiding the truth from yourself?
Today’s challenge is to focus on today–to focus on you–to focus on the things that you can change–and to recognize and let go of the things you can’t. Sad to say, there really are some things that you can’t change. And that’s okay. You are the Best!
HERE’S A SERIOUS LIFE LESSON! You can’t change other people–the only one you can change is you. Take a look–see what’s real–if it’s not a pretty picture, choose to make it better. And if you can’t, I’m here for you–to listen–to encourage–to support–and to renew your faith in YOU! You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be loved! You deserve to be safe! Take a stand. I love you! You are the Best and good things are coming your way. Fly with me! The best is yet to be!!!
